and last night we watched Nothing but the truth which I have been planning to watch ever since it was released but haven't had time. I mean the cast is wonderful, you can't go wrong with Alan Alda, Angela Bassett and Matt Dillon, to name a few - with Rob Lurie at the helm.

And he did it again. The gut punch at the end really makes you think about heroism, ethics and morals. I highly recommend this one.

A, who knows my type said I should watch White Collar and I did. It was kind of a new spin so I think I'll download the rest and watch. And while Matthew Bomer is cute and all, he is no JPad *g* But he does remind me of him to the extent that I sat thinking, now how would Jared have played that scene. Specially the scene with the suit. I imagined Jared shooting off one of his million watt smiles (much like George Eads') and charming the woman off her feet totally. Yes, I am deranged. Which A told me at least five times.

She told me about SPN and knowing my hate of retcons, she advised me to drop the show. She's on the verge of doing it herself. When stupidity reaches a certain level, it's just impossible to just watch the pretteh. SPN has reached that level for me this season. I heard suddenly hell hounds can be stopped by saltlines and the Colt that kills all doesn't kill all and apparently dean was deeply in love with Jo from the get go just for mucho man-pain is to follow the loss. Some things needs to remain fanfic if you veered off the route already. Why bring the magic Colt back now all of a sudden? Nothing else to write about? Ok, got it, plenty of eps to show and nothing new to tell - but retconning just makes you look stupid. Have I mentioned that already? But that's Ben Edlund for you, all form over substance. I'm sure there were lots of melodramatic comic-book emotion.
Allegedly here was a scene with Sam and my beloved devil and dammit, that's what I want to see but haven't found it on YouTube. Even A, the diehard Jensen-fan admitted that Jared's teary seething anger, fear and silent impressed her. says she can't describe all the feelings he put into those eyes, but she felt them all. *sigh* That is Jared's strength as an actor and I hope the Lu/Sam scene pops up somewhere because I do adore those two.

I really can't just watch TV any longer, it's just so fricken bad that my horns are itching every time I put it on and see the reality shows and the talkshows from hell. WTF is up with all these Farmer seeks wife, single mom seeks husband shows?

Happy Birthday annj_g80!

yeah, I know, random occurrence but anyhow: why am I allergic to romance on tv? Or more specifically, American tv?

It has to be the cultural difference that makes the women's role seem so off to me. I just can't relate to that frantic need or a boyfriend or hubby I see depicted. Can't relate to the fact that marriage seems to be every woman's wish. Man had to nag me to death and point to legal and tax-benefits for me to say yes. Marriage for me isn't automatically love, it's a legal binding foremost.

I can't relate to the passivity of the females' either. I can't relate to the fact that women and men can't seem to e friends without the sexualizing threads in and alters the relationship. I can't relate to the fact that flirting always means love? I have male friends that flirt with me all the time just for the heck of it. Two of those are gay males and one of them flirts exaggeratedly with me constantly. And I flirt back because it's just a game between us. He's married to his man for goodness sake. But he also is American, and his modus to approach females is very different from a Finn's. The sexuality is played up, regardless of the fact that he couldn't be less interested of that aspect if he were frigged dead. He told me that when he worked at the University in Florida they couldn't meet with female students on their own with the office door shut. In fear of possible sexual harassment suits. That is so foreign for me that I scratched my head. Now of course, hearing that, our game was set. We play up the flirting because the entire notion is ridiculous. And he misses it he says. We don't flirt much here, poor man is used to being flirted with constantly and he can't get it here, eh.

Then I have a half-Italian at home. Who is brought up to open doors to females, any female, not only the ones he finds attractive.There is no sexual connotation to his politeness. It's just a thing he does. Which drove me insane at first. Finnish females are accustomed to opening their own friggen doors since they reached the door-knob. We are used to hanging out with the boys o more equal terms. I played more with the neighbors boys than I did with the girls.

My nerdiness wasn't an automatic turn-off because males accepted me as an equal more than as a sexual object in school. I o can't relate to all the nerds being bullied in High-School because over here, nerds may not be in the in-group but they are not automatically ridiculed either. Just because every relationship isn't sexualized like they are on American tv.

And it's the aspect of the passive woman, active male, flirts that automatically equals sexual tension as the default mindset that totally alienates me.
No wonder I'm totally lost.

Ps. The more I think about it: thee is also the class-question. I gotta stop thining about romance on tv now!

And then I got a google alert about Kripke actually considering a season 6: FU Crapster. What the hell did Jared do to you that you are intent on destroying his career by forcing him to play the pretteh wall-paper on your subpar, ripped off plot holey and OTT melodramatic soap for another year? You got your syndicalization, now at least give Jared the option to get out. Jared didn't start out in soaps and I'm sure he didn't expect to friggen end up, contractually, in one either. The man is being offered leads! Okay, not grand leads but leads all the same. In movies - which he wants to do more than tv. He wants to actually be an actor!

Again, WTF did he to to you? You pissed he has it big time? That he can actually act? That the directors he's worked with praise him? What is it that bugs you so much that you have to castigate him to the extent you do? *cries*

Got link in mail. Cuteness ahoy! Coffee-break, paper-work today, going insane. Head hurts.

Watched a promo and man, that was some stinking bad acting. *hysterical giggle* Beauty really ain't all and it's becoming painfully evident. There's range and then there's facial expressions. Those two are not the same, really they ain't. *facepalm*

8 more tests from a week ago before I start on this week's. I wanna go home!

We need more of his kind as presidents, leaders and possible pathfinders.

He's so right. What we need is a existentialist revolution. He talks about rediscovering the eternal values. I repeat: I adore him. granted, i don't believe in all his theories, I don't believe a Christian God is the only answer. I believe the answer is more personal than that. But the fact is that we don't even discuss such values anymore, and that is the tragedy.

Consumerism made us even unhappier and hungrier. I get unspeakably happy when one of my kids looks me in the eyes and gets the joke. Actually gets it because he or she has started to form something of a theory of mind. That's what gets me so unspeakably happy I could cry. In fact, I have on occasions. Or when I string words together that someone actually reads.

No amount of merchandise will ever get me that.

I watched one clip of the J2 panel just to check if Jared had cut his hair now that Conan casting has gone to open casting. Seems he's just trimmed it but boy, what he said between the lines and with his body was very telling. I had to watch all clips just to see if it was just a momentary emotion?

It wasn't.

Boys were as cute as ever but:

Jensen says (jokes) he can't seem to find jobs out of Vancouver. Jared stays silent.
Jared goes on about how being an actor isn't about being on a tv-show, it's about honing your skills and actually acting. Ouch.
He doesn't want to do tv anymore if he can help it. He wants to get more sleep. He knows he's doing nothing on the show, he knows his role is just the pretty wall-paper, he knows! Damn you straight to the pit, Kripke.
He also excludes himself when he talks about the good acting on the show. He knows what fucking fandom thinks.
Bless you Jensen, for saying what you said about Lucifer and working with Jared. I love you to the end of days man!
Jared says if somebody told him he'd be playing Lucifer five years from now, he's be thinking someone was crazy. He says he likes evil-Sam better. He says nothing when there's talk about S6, except forwarding the question of where the show can go after the Apocrap. Jensen tells him that's why they are not writers. Jared says that if the audience wants them to continue, they will. He also says that the cons will go on as long as the goers want them to. He says he'd love to play John on SPN because he's not actually on the show any longer.

Can it get much clearer?

Boy is ready to let go of show but he feels so indebted to the fans and probably even to Kripke even if the man really treated Sam's arc like crap.

I feel bad for him all over. He's such a sweet, sweet boy but he's ready to sail on. It's not the first time I've gotten that vibe, but he has never been as clear as he was this time. He loves his fans with his whole heart though, and that's what's keeping him doing his very best with what little he gets. And yeah, he totally saved me by spoiling 5.11 so I'm not expecting anything anymore. It will be same ole, same ole and I can let this show go. Finally. I don't even care about spoilers or metas any longer. Show's over for me.

I'll just sit back and wait until he gets his wish and gets to do movies. If he's been offered leads, I'm sure he's being offered smaller roles too. Boy really is that good, when he's given half the change.
I'm rooting for you Jared, all the way, man!

I just read that Jensen is ready for a 6th season of the show. I hope he's talking for himself and JPad is ready to sail on. For the love of all that's holy: you have Misha Collins - let him be the pretty wallpaper in the 6th season thank you very much. It's okay if I don't see JPad on my screen every week, it's not okay to have him and not use his talent. There has not been one, not one, even remotely Sam-centric ep in 10 eps for fuck's sake and his story is going nowhere. He met Lu and that was it. Not that Dean's is exactly jumping forward either but at least he gets the monumental and epic explanatory talks in every episode. The brotherhood is dead, what was the core of the show for me is gone. Let JPad go already.

This is fucking depressing to hear.

But I do giggle at the fact that some of the same people that told fans to quit watching and shut up now are saying we need to watch. Ha!

Hmm, I think I may like Glee more than I suspected.

And Gen was fantastic in FF. Up yours you bashers!

Watched Inglorious Bastards last night - yikes. that was one long flirt with violence. *shudder* We really love our violence, don't we?

Man de-wormed the critters today. Took to talking motherese with them, leaving out letters and adding nonsensical words.

Now he's talking to me that way too: 'ant me to 'ake som' coffepoffee?" *facepalm*


Switch spy with nutcase and you have my and the cats' sentiment exactly.

You're pissing your only remaining fanbase, or more precisely - the rabid Jensen fans - off, big time! Who's gonna pat your back now, K? You need to make Sam grovel more, his life has been too rosy in comparison, you need to make him see what a wonderful brother he has and he needs to lick Jensen's, Dean's butt more. TWOP is as hilarious as ever.*cackles* I did get that the ep was all about retconning again. *yawn*
I watched the first 3 mins and saw the clip from Skin, realized that this ep would be the usual Sam's the scum of the earth ep so I skipped it. Maybe I'll watch it someday, when I'm totally bored, but I doubt it. It's getting really boring with all this fanservice. Easier to read up on the show these days than to actually have to suffer though it. Sam being killed off in now first on my Christmas wish-list. I feel like starting an effing petition. *g*

CSI - not even bothering. Whose brilliant idea was it to tie all three CSIs together to make sense?

Bones - romance on the horizon and I'm probably gone. Will give it another chance or two, maybe. I've developed a allergy to on-screen romance apparently. Thank you very much GSR!

NCIS can't even remember what the ep was about. O_o

Will watch FF tomorrow. I'm kinda scared by the happiness of the November sweeps right now. This was it? This is what is supposed to make the audience tune in next year?

Need to find a new show. Suggestions?

First:
Pure JPad love here at book_choco_loco

Second:
Fantastic on-line image editor Sumo Paint

Third:
George Eads is engaged! Congrats man and yes, I am deeply jealous of you woman. And he's thinking of changing career? *smacks him* But I do understand; he will be Nick Stokes for the rest of his life and that's what I so don't want to happen to JPad. And that's why JPad needs to get out, right now!

Fourth:
Congrats to Jensen and Danneel! Jensen hon, you do realize Danneel's gonna need upped security, dont'cha?

Fifth:
Fandom wants a love-triangle with Sam being jealous of Dean/Cas. I can't stop laughing! Please stop projecting fandom, please just stop! Isn't it enough that you've totally screwed up 1 and 2 canon and turned it into a soap? But this? You will make a mockery of this show yet! What am I saying, you've already managed to do just that. now it's going to turn into a loopey, doopey sugary mockery.

Sixth:
I'm tempted to watch SPN 5.09 just because of the preview and the fandomy outcry that will follow. I need help!

Oh, and I almost forgot. I found a new fantastic director: Dome Karukoski. I've watched Kielletty hedelmä (Forbidden Fruit) and Tummien perhosten koti (Home of the dark butterflies) and I adored them both. Can't wait to get my hands on his earlier works. This dude is rather young and I hear he's been invited to Hollywood but is refusing because Hollywood is, well, Hollywood. I'm guessing he will be really big one day. I love his visual storytelling technique and have high hopes for his next project that is under work right now.

SPN's final ratings = 2.645

Looks kinda bad for the Cas/Dean S6 spin-off.
Just for the record - I think that was one of the best Horatio impressions ever done. And still, somehow, Jared managed to make me just see Sam doing it, not Jared but Sam. How the man pulled that one off is beyond me, it just blew my socks off. All I can say is: head tilt and the voice! Perfection doesn't even cover it. There was even the vibrato at the end of the sentence! Yes, I have watched it a couple of times. Jensen's fanboyism was another thing that had me in stitches. The show is those two playing off each other, I'm sorry Kripke but they made your show, not you.


It's snowing here today. And it's wet and all of it ended up under Essi's hooves. I was up and down a dozen times to get it out. And Newfoundland paws sure accumulate a lot of the stuff. Newfoundland is also rather heavy to have in your lap while you dry off washed paws. Gah! Well, it's melting away fast so that's a relief. Man, I hate snow with a passion!

And all I can say to those who get it is JAMES at IMdb! Hot is hot, just STFU!

I'm bored and I have a ton of things to do for next weekend's schooling and all I really wanna do is find a new fandom and write some fic! Preferably a fandom that contains a JPad character. GE is faring better on his show right now so I am not so worried about him. If only GD was still on it. *sniffle* That last scene broke my heart but I expected Warrick to turn up and box Nicky's shoulder and tell him: "Bro, c'mon, pancakes are on me." CSI will never be the same without that relationship.

And FF rocks! I can't wait to see what they will be doing with Tracy because Gen is awesome. Period. <- See? Squee! Need more Gen icons.

And Firefox is not opening my Google mail *kicks it* Seems to be a general problem. Is this google's way of forcing people to download their own browser?

despite knowing it will all be about Dean again since MS was about Sam and the 'literary imbalance' works in one way only. That is: every Sam-storyline goes to Dean.
( My guess: )

But that one scene, one friggen scene!, has me ready to grab this ep the moment it's out there. Because what Jared did in those 15 secs of preview is amazing. He looks nothing like the character he is emulating; still he is that character. Jared has always had an uncanny ability to mold his 6.4 gorgeousness, from body-language to voice, and this time, he works wonders. It may be his only scene in that particular segment of the ep, but it'll be worth it. I'm gonna laugh my ass off.

But the hype of the ep is making me wary, it's been mentioned everywhere and WB has been sending out copies of it for bloggers to squee about. Just that made me realize that it's going to be all Dean all the way again. Nothing Sam-centric has ever been hyped like In the Beginning, The End and now this. It's clear who the production team is rooting for since S2 and this ep has to grab over 3 mill viewers. If not, then the show truly is over and not only for Sam- or brother fans, I doubt the Cas/Dean spin-off will see the light of day with S6 if an ep that's been promoted like this one doesn't break 3 mill.

I bet they are about to decide on the future of SPN with this one ep. All the signs point in that direction. I also think the Cas/dean show will be very different in tone and plotlines. I just wish Misha Collins fares better in fandom than Jared did.

Why did you, dear compatriot turned Italian citizen, have to drag the crucifixes in classrooms to court? Why did you have to win the case? Berlusconi is already calling us Finns all kinds of names because we have wooden churches for crying in the sink! Someone in Tampere made a freaking pizza with his name just to mock him in retaliation. Now we're battling Catholicism? Yes, yes - I get the state and religion should be kept apart according to the law in Italy. But why does a Finnish woman have to point that out? Never ends well when a non-born and raised-citizen points these things out. Patriotism is rampant in contrast to the supposed freedom from borders. Did anybody really expect anything else?

Man's reaction to my complaining: She's a Finnish woman! What did you expect?
I was like: huh?
Man: If you want mountains moved, seriously piss off a Finnish female of any age and BAM!
I don't know how to take that. *hides in corner*

Ooops, I broke my no squee, no post rule!

( Squeeage material follows )

And now I need a cold shower.

PS. NCIS let me down. I don't know but Gibbs-centered eps are starting to annoy me. I only have myself to blame; I did make icons after all.

I used to be amused by the crazies, now I'm just: meh.

Unfortunately, the crazies are too predictable and I've seen all their stunts and still they seem to increase in numbers and frequency. Any article will have comments that reek of self-righteousness and finger-pointing. And the worst seems to be those who declare themselves the only sane ones and keep claiming they are objective. Anytime anyone uses that word on an opinion these days, I roll my eyes.

Gimme the real crazies any day!

I wonder how long it'll take to cast Conan via the open casting? Jared still has his long hair and I will worry until it's chopped off. Well not really. I've come to the conclusion that anything he does that gets him out from wall-paper status will be alright with me. Even Conan. Yes, I am clearly insane but the waiting for a Sam-centric episode this long has really pissed me off. 7 eps in and 2 Dean centric ones with only two filler eps in between? We're probably getting a Cas-centric one before we get anything on Sam. Wonderful.*seething sarcasm* Damned JPad and GE, can't drop the shows when there's still a chance for some epic hotness. And isn't it just typical that both GE and JPad have been used for promoting the shows even if they are not used in them? False marketing, somebody sue someones' asses, thank you very much.

I want to watch my babes on screen, damn you stoopid producers from the pit.

Yes, I am cranky. There's not been any new Bones or NCIS for a long time either.
*goes back to read about women, leadership and the invisible walls* <- And that folks, makes me want to cry.

And I just proved why the webs are becoming so boring when you go all self-righteous and finger-pointing. *facepalm*

I hereby promise not to post anything before I have some reason for squeage.

My friends page here is void of the usual links for commenting and stuff.

My main page still has the links, but not my friends page. I swear I didn't change my layout of anything.

Is it just me?

Or is it just that I'm PMSing and needing chocolate intravenously that the world decided to fuck with me?

That's my Lu with a kitteh! *instant love*

Yeah, I have a weak spot for guys that love animals. I have a freakin' kink for men that love kittens. And man gave me that kink the moment he found the white little kitteh (the one that is now boss in this household) back in the uni days. The way he prompted the little thing to crawl up into his hand and held her, checking her out just did something very funny to me. Seeing him like that; making silly kitty-calling noises? I ended up just standing there, transfixed. Then he turned to me and just said: "She's cold, we need to take her home." Goodbye heart and sanity - oh hello kink.

Ain't over it yet and now this?

Damn you Mark Pellegrino!

on sorely needed horsey items. *dramatic sigh* And if the critter destroys this fancy 'raincoat' the first week, I will withhold carrots for the rest of the year! I had a long discussion with her about her unfortunate history of shredding rugs, hope she got it. She's resting this week, vaccinated and newly primed. Still looks like a teddy bear though. *g*

I hear there's an open casting for Conan! *sends cookies to all involved* If JPad would only cut his hair, we'd be in the clear and he can avoid this particular disaster. He's already the wallpaper in one, no need to overdo it, right JPad? Can't wait for him to do something new, I miss writing! I want a new fandom! JPad, GE or GD, I don't mind, just do something for me to fanfic about. Or vid. GD, the last one you did was a pain, couple up with GE and you'd make my year! What? Me a spoiled, entitled brat? *shifty eyes*

The infamous FL con is now moved to Feb thanks to the swine flu. With any luck I will get out of it totally.

We are however, taking a trip to Paris, in December just over a long weekend, just me and man and I hope he leaves the beanies at home this time. (Came home with a turquoise one a couple of days ago. Ah, the pain!) He has some business to take care of and I just decided to tag along and handed in a request for a day off. They can't much deny me since I cut my vacation short and all. I'm looking forward to browsing around at Port Clignangcourt already, man is rolling his eyes.

I'm re-reading Klas Östergren, don't know why i like his writing so much. Gentlemen is just so - beautifully unrealistically realistic of sorts. And does have today's popular brother theme. I still think that is his best novel, it was new at the time and it still holds. Now this is a novel I'd adapt to the big screen and cast dear ole JPad as the lead. Just the theme of the little people getting caught up in an ugly game is enough to make a 3 hours long movie. Oliver Stone, how did you miss this?

Ps. Stalkerish note: Gen and JPad were in NYC over the weekend, holding hands - too cute for words. I really need to quit web-stalking them. *g*

I can't seem to keep to one coherent train of thoughts today, that's what caffeine does to me.

Dear A phoned tonight and I don't know how we ended up there but we did start talking about Supernatural and then ratings. She wants more seasons, I said you can have them just as long as poor JPad is written off but with the rating of today, budget will likely be cut.

Then we got into the discussion: she'd read on Buddy.tv where it was said that the important segment; females 18-34 had increased and that was good for the show.

I was like 'huh'? Overall ratings are down, to me that means that the statistics they are talking about just shows that the important segment just makes a bigger part of the audience these days. Not that said viewers have actually increased in number. Either that or all the other segments have taken a total dive. To me if one segment increases when other drop does not automatically mean that it has increased numerically, only that it's a bigger part of what's left.

Granted, I am a moron when it comes to math but still, sounds fishy to me.


This discussion resulted in nothing but a headache on my part. And A was still laughing at me when we hung up. Still managed to get in a jibe about Conan though. Gonna get her back!
Got Paul Austen's Levatan for man for his Bday - He's currently not reachable cos of it. Guess he likes it. Now I really gotta go drag him to bed, thou'. Too big to carry that one

Fic: Faces of Evil (2/3)
Author: *bright
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Sam/Lucifer, Dean, Bobby and a cameo by Castiel.
Category: H/C
Warnings: Non-con (but without physical violence. This is all a psychological game for Lucifer.)
Disclaimer: Me own nada.
Words: 20.000 approx.
Author’s Note: I'll never write non-con, or so I thought. I'm appalled at having written this piece. I really am. My only defense is that Sam is so adorable when hurt and this is not a physical rape fic. But Sam is psychologically raped, and that is just as fricken bad. I am sorry. Not beta'd, because I am deeply ashamed. I admit, not my best fic.
Summary: Lucifer wants Sam and uses every dirty trick in the book. Dean faces hell all over and Bobby watches the brothers fall apart only to rise again, like true Winchesters.

Part I
( Part II )

Title: Faces of Evil (1/3)
Author: *bright
Rating: R (NC-17 for part II)
Characters: Sam/Lucifer, Dean, Bobby and a cameo by Castiel.
Category: H/C
Warnings: Non-con (but without physical violence. This is all a psychological game for Lucifer.)
Disclaimer: Me own nada.
Words: 20.000 approx.
Author’s Note: I'll never write non-con, or so I thought. I'm appalled at having written this piece. I really am. My only defense is that Sam is so adorable when hurt and this is not a physical rape fic. But Sam is psychologically raped, and that is just as fricken bad. I am sorry. Not beta'd, because I am deeply ashamed. I admit, not my best fic.
Summary: Lucifer wants Sam and uses every dirty trick in the book. Dean faces hell all over and Bobby watches the brothers fall apart only to rise again, like true Winchesters.

( Part I )